What We Want Day 285

Are we capable of voicing at every second of time what we need? What exactly we want said and done? Can we comfort ourselves best, can we be our own best friends? Why do we need another to say what we need to hear - how does our dependence on another being who is as complicated as you in their own way, a comfort to us? Somehow these thread of humanity works that way and in the "faceless crowd" we start finding comfort in some, more than others. We start needing, we start looking when we feel most alone… we start believing they will always be there. Do we make ourselves more vulnerable, or do we get stronger by the mere hope that our faith is not misplaced, our love is not undeserving… 

My eyes dart around in the darkness looking for similarity

How long have I been lost, how far have I drifted?

How did I come so far, you said you would never let go

How am I here without you, you said you would follow

I close my eyes, the darkness I find within is comforting

How long have I been asleep, why do I feel so cold?

If I could just see you, these skies would not be so gray

If I could just find you, somehow everything would be okay.

I must keep moving, there has to be a way back home

There must be somewhere I can go, to find my steps

And yours will find mine, and I will dance in the sky

You won't let me fall, and in your arms I will smile.

The cold rain falls as I move with the faceless crowd

The silence is getting suffocating, and feels so loud

Is this a dream? A parallel reality? A vision, a fear?

My eyes dart around in the darkness...

If I could just see you... 

- RKS

Superhero Day 284

I have taken a little bit of a hiatus from writing recently if noticed - I guess I have been distracted with things around and in me. Not devoid of thoughts or topics, but sometimes I don't really know if half-baked thoughts are worth penning down :)

This makes it sound as though I have a very well - thought out blog here, but quite the opposite. Just a simple thought I wanted to write down. In a lot of my own blogs and things we say to others, we often motivate people to be strong, go-getters, to not accept defeat, not give up. Stand of something, embrace yourself. In a lot of ways an ideal state of being is that of a "super hero". Perfectly balanced, content, at ease and peace - able to give abundantly, accept graciously - to go with the flows and tugs of fate and time. Maybe the state is just what we all hope to attain. After all, do we not set the highest goals when searching for something to work toward.

There are times though when you're knocked down by things you cannot see or quantify. The challenges don't play fair, and the battles are unbalanced. Sometimes you don't even know who you're fighting, what you're fighting for. Times like this you get humbled by life. You stop preaching and telling yourself and others what to be and do and become the listener. You see what is around you, you take time to look at yourself - at all the strong strides you took forward yes, but you notice the calluses on your feet too. You become the listener and you observe, you re-invent, you recreate the meaning of being the "super hero".

It is a burden of sorts to be perfect. To even attempt to attain perfection. The hero which must always rescue - every person they save, they have defeated someone else to do it. Every duel they fought and conquered leaves behind the wake of a the devastated. The good side vs. the bad side - maybe the lines aren't always blurry. But heroes that walk out of a battle victory do not leave unscarred. They are not allowed to feel the simple emotions of an "ordinary meek man" - fear or any form of selfishness. Bravery and accomplishment without arrogance - perseverance without exhaustion. Well, while all of us don't go scaling from buildings, or stand on battlefields - we sometimes expect ourselves to behave like that.  And I guess even "super heroes" need to know when to step down and recharge for the next ball that comes their way.