You've Been Warned Day 245

Everything seems to come with a warning these days. Just going through my day, with the trains, escalators, champagne bottles, pruning shears, fertilizer. It's endless if you pay attention how many "caution" and "warning labels" there are. And yes some of these probably have a good reason, but some just seem absurd. Makes you wonder how many of these strange incidents have actually happened for suppliers to put these sort of warnings on their products...

I remember this became a big question mark when apple put "do not eat ipod shuffle" on their website a few years back:

I do remember in my early college years, I was helping teach a "computer literacy" class, where we had to make labels and stick them on the CD-ROM (wow, I felt so ancient typing that out...) drives stating "Do not use as cup holder". Sometimes intuition can go in so many different directions... 

While some seem ridiculous, there are so many "ironic" labels. Like cat litter stating "safe to use around pets"or a fire extinguisher stating it is "non-flammable". The reminder of not to use hair dryers in showers and so on and so forth. While some of this is funny, and there are some hilarious ones out there, with dedicated sites which collect these... I wonder what is happening to the human race. Are we becoming so used to things being spelt out for us, that everything "must be thought of", that we need continuous reminders on how not to seriously injure ourselves by eating a packet of nails which might cause irritation? Or is it that intuition and common sense have simply gone out the window? Or maybe we're all just hazards to ourselves...

Good night, if taking a sleeping pill, please note it may cause drowsiness. 

Air-Borne Day 244

There are so many things which we just take for granted, it works, we can use it... nothing to question here. Sometimes when flying, and I look out the window - I often think of the first flight that man must have taken. The fascination of our species to conquer air, making us able to travel in yet another medium. From the kite like structures, to hot air balloons to the putting together of mechanical parts and setting into motion. The feeling of looking down and seeing you so far above the land. Curiosity or stupidity, sometimes you need a little bit of both to move forward :)

The first passenger plane, the trusting of these people to get on board a metal "transporter". And yes, there are explanations on how this works and I understand how we are able to use engines, fuel, propellers etc. But sometimes it's just the simple thought... I look down and see, we are flying over water. Flying over water, flying through air - a gorgeous sunset lighting our paths, a wonderland of clouds and stars. Seeing a world below us that though we know and recognize, is so much bigger than we imagine. Everything becomes so small, the streets, the cars, the houses... and yet so much larger. Innovation is used to move us forward, to help us progress - make our physical lives easier. And yet in so many ways...  the ability to create, build and witness the results of this innovation, in some level is feeding our spiritual beings. We are able to be part of someones simple idea... that today, I will not be afraid... today is going to be an adventure...today, I will achieve the impossible. 

Tug of Nature Day 243

And they arose, with no question, they arose. It was cold, the journey long. There were others who were awakening too, greeting the cold morning with no more joy nor disdain than was necessary. It was a long trek, and every long journey is completed one step at a time. And they began walking. Slowly, not focussing too much on their cold skin or the icy winds. The only thought was to keep moving, to find a way to keep going. 

There was comfort in knowing that they were not alone, several had arisen that day and were going through this journey. Battling for survival, removed all other thought from the mind. Their feet kept plodding on, even in the icy fog they knew the way. Almost like a map you can't forget, even when your not conscious of it, your senses know the way. 

And as more join, the blood slowly starts rushing again. The excitement within makes you forget your hardships. In a crowd of strangers, there is an invisible thread thats tugging you - pulling you closer to where you've walked so long to be. And then it's complete. The missing piece you were searching for, the one who had walked the same journey as you, has walked with purpose and felt the thread connecting you too.. in front of you. And in silence they connect, in touch they promise... this is not the last journey, many will be made. But for now, this is the journey and this is the destination. Their story has begun and they begin to dance with fate. 

This is about one of my favorite animals, the penguins. The emperor penguins and their now famous, "march" to the breeding grounds where they find their mate devoting a year to try and bring life in one of the harshest climates in the world. 

Silent Day 242

Silent is the night that watches all that unfolds around it
Silent is the dust that let's the raindrops fall on it's raw skin
Silent is the lake that reflects the beauty of the starlight
Silent the hope that you have found your happiness

Silent are the trees that let the winds rustle through them
Silent are the flowers that let the bees play with them
Silent the branches that birds comes to rest on
Silent the thoughts which don't reach your ears

Silent the sky that lets the sun use it as its canvas
Silent the mountains that loom over as witnesses
Silent the ocean that gives in to the pull of the moon
Silent the longing, the missing of your presence

Silent the night, the day, the space all around
Silent the melody, the laughter, all type of sound
Silent you and I... in our quiet resolves and desires
Silent... silently, I wait for the end of this silence.

- RKS

Worthy Day 241

We are always looking for a way to quantify things. Whether it is a feeling or something material. Everything has a value... something in our mind, whether it is monetary or emotional or just the way it impacts your life, we find a way to give it some type of worth.

I have been thinking about self-worth recently. Have spent a lot of my life growing up trying to "prove my worth" to my friends and people who knew me. I don't think I have been looking for much in return as I have been battling with myself. I think we tend to put ourselves down so much. It's taken some growing up to realize that rejection and goodbyes are not because we don't deserve something, or that we're unworthy. Bad decisions people make, bad decisions we make - are just moments in time we need to learn from and move forward.

I think if we all had more self-worth the number of days we were down or doubting ourselves would drastically reduce. There is so much retrospection and second guessing yourself when you feel you have not accomplished something you desired. Whether it is in someones life, or in yours personally, being somewhere less than what you envisioned - placing the worth of yourself against that of what we've evaluated others to be.

Step one of increasing our self-worth is perhaps to start accepting who we are. Not changing or questioning but understanding who we are. Embracing yourself and changing things we don't particularly like. Not living life based on someone elses opinion or some version of ourselves that we believe we should be. Putting who you are out there and standing by it. Accepting that we will fail and lose people or things which we don't want to. Accept that we're not perfect and enjoy the stories that will come from our ignorant moments. Adapt yourself to learn, listen and watch the peaks of emotion in you. And most importantly... give yourself more credit. You've fared so many storms, so many heart aches... we are constantly evolving. Constantly changing.. there are so many people we impact in ways we don't realize. It's so easy to focus on the hurt and forget the positive impacts we've made.

Every single day when we get up and go through our day, we're constantly changing some little part of the world. Give yourself a break... and a little more credit for all that you do.

Nothing More Day 240

There is something in the wake of your smile
The look in your eyes when they find mine
Something hard to describe in the way you kiss me
The way your hands find and claim me...
There is something in the way you dance with me
Without touch, you sway with me in my mind
Something about the way you whisper to me...
Your breath against my skin, warmth of your lips
Something about the way your fingers hold my hair
The way you stay with me, even when you're not there
Something about the way your touch stirs me
Wakes emotions in me that I didn't know I had
Something about the way you calm me in this storm
Storm that you weave with your passion
Make me trust you in this free fall..
Something about the look in your eyes..
Grasping me, caressing me, holding me..
The way they promise not to let go...
Something in the wake of your smile..
That softly speaks to me, whispering
As I fall and rise in your arms,
As though there was nothing more to do
Nor be, than where we are now...
As though there was nothing more to do
Than for you to be mine, and me yours
- RKS

Digging Day 239

We keep digging inside ourselves for a sense of what "feels right". We keep scraping the surface of our skins to make that deeper connection and fulfill the needs we have within us. We all try to be happy. In some form or the other, we aim for a sense of fulfillment, a feeling of comfort in your shell, confidence in your ability to extend out to others, in your ability to perform in different arenas. And we measure our happiness by our impacts, our growth. When we see a positive growth we embrace it. When we see something positive it attracts us. Beauty, color, mystery, connections we form that are impactful. We all want to see ourselves grow, ourselves move beyond our mistakes and faults. We want to keep some relationships close, we want to keep our faith strong. We keep digging and looking for ways to do that.

Somehow wanting so many things, we tend to forget that happiness like everything else doesn't come easily. Somewhere along the way I learnt how hard it is to find acceptance of who you are. To find people who will not judge you. To find situations where you do not need to conform, where you can exist in your unique way and not be outcasted for it. There are so many things and situations that are thrust at you while you try to keep yourself going.  You become aware of your pillars that hold you up, your friends, your family, your sense of belonging, your confidence. When these are attacked, you feel the disabled and realize our vulnerable state. 

Rebuilding - once again starting to dig.  Digging our surface, seeing what we have left. Counting your losses, realizing that we're more able and capable than we thought. And that happiness is still hard but every day does not need to be a battle. We just need to keep finding, searching for those "feel right" moments and slowly thread them together... follow their path, has to lead to somewhere good. 

Warrior Day 238

I am a warrior, send me to the battlefield
I don't have fear though I don't call myself brave
Send me to the battlefield where I can fight
With my arms and strengths, where I am alive

Leave me not in the battles of my mind
Where darkness of the human soul terrifies
Colder than that of the night and what it cloaks
Give me demons I can slash with my sword
Not invisible cowards who torment my days
And I have no weapons against...

I am a warrior, let me wear my armor
March forth, move with discipline and sense
Where mind and reason have a place
Planned actions, known rewards
I am a warrior, I don't fear the cold death

Leave me not in places I must strip my walls
Enemies armed with tenderness who attack my heart
Mind and reason fall short to the waves of emotion
Purpose misunderstood, shackled with silence
Leave me not with the weights of doubt and regret
Enclosed in judgment like kites in winds of fate

I am a warrior, send me to the battlefield
Let me fight, for I know no other way
Let me wear my armor, it protects my soul
Where the black rivers of pain
The lies and hurt they carry will not haunt me

I am a warrior... send me to the battlefield.

- RKS

Watching the sunrise Day 237

It was dark, most of the world asleep. We woke up, made our trek up the forest. The deers out to feed, the black forest slowly starting to come to life.

We went higher up the mountain, following the hint of light we saw. The ground we walked on, the land around us was easier to follow. The endless ocean meeting the mountains, the clouds playing with the sky and behind it a ball of fire starting to rise. Breaking through the clouds, in this silent setting, a little red, a hint of color to the monochrome landscape. 

Watching all around you come alive, feeling the warmth - the feel of life being echoed by the surface of your skin, by nature all around you. The waking of the day, the response to the sun... our source of energy fueling us. Have always had an intimate connection with sunrises. There's that time, just before the sun is rising, the time when everything is still... it is just beautiful. We exist in a place almost stolen from time. Without ego, without desire, without anything that will weigh us down in the day. In that moment, you are with yourself... when the sun dances on your skin, the first rays kiss your face... you feel yourself. You are one with that which is infinite... 

Recently made a trek up to see the sunrise from a mountain top. And while it was overcast and not the most glorious of the sunrises I have seen, it still had that same feeling. That same beauty which makes me feel connected again. 

My mind is a raging storm,

But the sunrise is mesemerising

My desires seem to have no form

Oh, above the mountains its rising

What do I want, who am I to be

The ocean laps against the rocks

Where do I need to go, what more to see?

Waves rise and fall, the granite glows

Silhouettes of doubt in my mind...

Silhouettes of trees decorate your path

Where do I hide from my fears?

Hide in the arms of nature, its embracing you

I have questions...

The mountains are infinite...

Am I small in my existence.. 

The ocean is endless...

Do I fight my demons or stay who I am

But the skies are dancing, the stars blossoming

The infinite heavens are above you

The ground from which you come below

Look outside your mind, you're in a wonderland

You're bigger than your doubts

You're larger than your fears...

You're the rising sun, the lapping waves

The glowing moon, the twinkling stars..

The hot lava, the beauty of snow.. the falling rain,

Look beyond the shell you contain yourself in

You are everywhere, you are everything. 

- RKS

Acceptance of Time Day 236

It's a little strange thinking a year has almost come to completion since I began this challenge. In an ideal world, this should be blog 363. A year... sometimes when life is measured with these small "landmarks" we realize just how much has passed us by in this current of time.

I have given myself more time to finish this and yes, will still enjoy the "year" when it's done. It just kinda struck me how much has happened in the last year. I wonder if I have moved forward or stayed in the same place. If life is really propelling us forward, or are we just playing with experiences searching for the true meaning of happiness.

Have had so many thoughts in my mind in the last few days, it's a little strange sitting here and trying to "voice" them. When we start to structure things and explain them, it sometimes clarifies and other times just does not measure up. Times like this, I try to be the observer, the quiet observer... just watch the tides rise and fall within me. To take in and see what we find in the wake.

Just breathe in, breathe out. Take it in, take it out. Let it in, let it out and try to find that calm, that unmovable calm within us.

This center, this quiet place where thought has no form. Sometimes when we let go, when we give up something we've held on to, when life has worn us out, when things have gone against our intentions and sometimes even in our good or selfish moments, when we're pulling against the natural threads, when we choose to ignore that which we desire. Whatever it is, when we have thought that has no more purpose -we find that place.

We are strong in our vulnerability, we are beautiful in our ability to process emotion.. All our dark, lonely places lead back to the calm. All our happy, content moments lead us back to the calm.  One day, we might look back at the currents we fought against, and realize how much time we let go, how much time we let by... and if we had just stood in our calm, maybe we wouldn't be so surprised when it did, maybe we would be more accepting of ourselves.