This blog is dedicated to a very special friend of mine who faced a hard battle in life, and somehow in the darkness, she found her Self and is today happy, strong, content and unafraid. I am so proud of you – you know who you are :)
Self is a small word but encompasses each individual’s existence. But how much do we know Self? Self somehow ends up being this elusive friend which travels with us come good/bad, changes shapes and colors to match our surroundings, thoughts and moods. .. and yet, somehow remains a stranger to most.
Self provides us with means to bring to life our crazy ideas or protects us from our fears by convincing us we’re right to be scared. Which is probably why we have words like self-esteem – the power which Self uses to make us feel worthwhile and good. Self-conscious – the fears Self brings upon us and makes us aware of being in a situation that is uncomfortable to us. It’s almost a safety mechanism - heightening our senses, keeping a lookout for danger, watching every move – trying to make an exit.
Self is very shy in a lot of ways – it somehow always expects us to make contact and find it. It wants us to reach within and get that shred of Self-confidence. The power to do anything, to be proud of yourself – we somehow need to find the right amount of Self to do that with. But the problem is, we all need a Self and sometimes when it’s hard to find our own we tend to follow others Self’s. Going under their influence and using somebody else’s opinions as our thoughts.
So why is this? Isn’t Self enough on its own? Why do we have needs for others? The answer is yes – Self is well, self-sufficient :) All it takes is for someone to become Self-aware. Yes, become aware of this Self inside us. Get to know it, get to understand it. We’ve it all inside of us – happiness, confidence, securities, love, positive thinking – it’s all there when you become friends with your Self. You understand what you’re made of and you break the barrier between you and Self (your-Self)and become just You.
You. It’s hard shedding away the layers the world has put on You. But now that You has become one with Self, you understand – understand your needs, understand yourself such that the demons that kept you awake, kept you afraid, kept you empty – are gone. You understand where you are – where you want to be. And now when a whole You meets another person – you won’t be the one whose Self is compromised with. You will be able to give what you want to and enjoy what’s given to you – simply because you don’t need it anymore. You don’t need any other Self now.
I am not promoting being alone – but the fact is when you’re in a crowd or a relationship somehow you can be lonely – it’s the missing Self. When you’re found – you can just reach out to Self in moments of loneliness, pains, or any other moment and give Self a bear hug. Give you into Self and know you’re ok – you’re always going to be ok.
The battle now is to keep true to your Self – to not be influenced. It’s the hardest battle to fight – just keep looking within – you will find you’re already self-confident, self-determined, self-efficient, self-satisfied and eventually self-realized.
To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s trying so hard to make you somebody else, is the hardest battle you will ever fight. Never stop fighting. – E.E. Cummings
